Are we reading too much into that Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni footage?

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Blake Lively

Are we reading too much into that Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni footage?

Portrait of Alyssa Goldberg Alyssa Goldberg

USA TODAY

“She fell in love with him.” “He rejected her.” “This is just revenge.”

Amid “It End with Us” co-stars Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively’s ongoing legal battle, his attorneys have released behind-the-scenes footage of a romantic scene the actors performed. 

In response, fans have continued to pick sides and chime in on the actors’ claims. Overwhelmingly, the internet seems to have sided with Baldoni, with a new theory circulating this week that Lively “had an unrequited crush.”

“There’s no way she didn’t fall in love,” one TikTok user wrote. “I think her recollection of events is heavily influenced by her emotions,” another commented. 

The clip was captured on May 23, 2023 and shows the actors’ characters Ryle Kincaid (Baldoni) and Lily Bloom (Lively) slow dancing. Lively cited the scene in her December complaint against Baldoni as evidence the actor “ignored well-established industry protocols in filming intimate scenes and exploited the lack of controls on set to behave inappropriately.”

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“The scene in question was designed to show the two characters falling in love and longing to be close to one another. Both actors are clearly behaving well within the scope of the scene and with mutual respect and professionalism,” a statement from Baldoni’s legal team reads in the video’s opening. 

In an emailed statement to USA TODAY on Tuesday, Lively’s legal team blasted the footage’s release as a “stunt” by Baldoni’s attorneys and a “continuation of their harassment and retaliatory campaign.”

Though we may not know the truth about what happened between Lively and Baldoni, the viral reactions send a message to people who have found themselves in similar situations, explains Nicole Bedera, author of “On the Wrong Side: How Universities Protect Perpetrators and Betray Survivors of Sexual Violence.” When we feed into gender biases and stereotypes, such as by delegitimizing Lively by speculating an unrequited crush, we can impact whether or not people who have experienced sexual harassment feel safe enough to come forward, adds Leora Tanenbaum, author of the forthcoming book “Sexy Selfie Nation: Standing Up For Yourself in Today’s Toxic, Sexist Culture.”

Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni legal dramaInside the claims made by ‘It Ends with Us’ stars

The problem with the ‘she had a crush’ narrative

As the footage circulated on social media apps like TikTok and X, commenters were swift to bash Lively. 

“She doesn’t look uncomfortable to me at all. She looks flirtatious and having fun,” one TikTok user wrote. Another chimed in: “She’s leaning into him!”

It is a persistent myth in cases of sexual harassment or violence that women secretly “like it” or “ask for it,” Bedera says, and “framing sexual harassment as a crush is a version of this stereotype.”

Tanenbaum says that those dissecting the video to find evidence that Lively had an “unrequited crush” on Baldoni are feeding into a bias against women — specifically the “assumption that women are obsessed with romance and will do anything they can in the pursuit of it.”

This speculation harms not only Lively, but “all women because it undercuts their legitimacy and credibility,” Tanenbaum says. 

“Sexual harassment against women is so routine, so normalized, that when someone does speak up, we need to listen to them,” she adds. 

Each individual can respond differently to discomfort or harassment 

When viewers speculate about Lively’s discomfort or lack thereof, they also perpetuate the idea that there is a right or wrong way to respond to sexual harassment. But, in reality, each person may react differently in the moment. 

For example, Bedera says that women commonly respond to an uncomfortable situation by smiling or laughing.

“It’s something we’ve all been taught to do to diffuse tension with men who hold power (over) us,” Bedera explains. “But it’s a pattern that is very rarely represented in media depictions of sexual violence.”

Many women don’t recognize certain behaviors as sexual harassment, especially in the moment. According to a 2016 report by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, 25% of women reported experiencing sexual harassment in the workplace. But, after specific behaviors, such as unwanted sexual attention, were described to them, that incidence rate rose to 75%. 

Tanenbaum says people may also fear retaliation if they make a report and are not taken seriously.

More:Jay-Z’s response to rape allegation shocked. Our reaction matters, too.

How does our response to the ‘It Ends With Us’ scene impact women? 

The bottom line: We don’t know what really happened between Baldoni and Lively, and one video doesn’t tell the full story. Lively may not see many of the reactions circulating online, but inevitably victims of sexual harassment will. 

“I worry that because of the hatred so many people are expressing toward (Lively), fewer victims will be motivated to come forward in the future,” Tanenbaum says. 

Contributing: Edward Segarra

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